How to Stay Sane with Your Partner During Quarantine
Ok, don’t front. If you’re in a relationship right now, your significant other has at some point gotten on your nerves during the MONTHS you have been stuck inside with them. Being with anyone 24/7 would drive me insane, and it only makes it worse that the person I’m with I know will love me, even if I snap at them or am irrational! What’s one to do to not quickly log onto Facebook, crop them out of your profile picture, and change your relationship status without even having a conversation with them?
Through my own research and studies (I’ve personally had to do them all frequently, for science of course), I have found the tips below to work most effectively:
Tell them kindly that you need your “Me Time”.
Go in the other room. Have a studio? Take a bath. Cry in the bathroom. Hide behind the kitchen counter, I don’t know, but I am confident you can find somewhere in your apartment to hide away. Before I get to the point of needing space, I’ll acknowledge that I haven’t been on my own in a while, and I’ll tell my boyfriend “Hey babe, will you need anything from the bedroom for an hour or two? Can you get it if you do? I need some space for a bit. I’ll come out when I’m ready to talk again.” Just having your own space to breathe, meditate, read Cosmo without them wanting to skip to the quizzes, it’s refreshing.
If you’re able to, go on a solo walk.
One of my favorite ways to start the day is going on a solo walk. Having time to do my own thing, exist outside of my partner, and fake some sort of normalcy in all this crazy is crucial. A lot of the time things will happen on my walk that make me think “Oh, I can’t wait to tell Ben about that!” and sometimes I even think “Ugh, I wish he was here to see this”. Taking a solo walk has been my best way to get that sense of “missing” the other person that happens more naturally in normal day to day life when we’re going into the office, or able to meet up with friends.
Friends. Facetime. Your. Friends.
You’ll probably laugh, hear a crazy story, and end the call feeling so much better than you did before. So much so, that you’ll probably forget that your significant other left their dirty dish in the sink overnight *eye twitch*.
Set up a date night, purposefully.
It’s easy to fall into the Netflix every night pattern. I mean, that’s pretty much date night, right? Well, it can be if you do something special for it. Ask your significant other if they want to have a date night on X night, plan it a few days out so you have time to look forward to it. Have paint supplies? Do a Bob Ross paint night, a lot of his episodes are currently on Netflix. You could do a game night! Bust out your favorite board games and cards. Or cook a special dinner together (anything that’s not cereal at this point to me is gourmet). If you’re really movie people, get excited about a new release that you can watch. Stock up on popcorn, candy, your favorite movie snacks. You can even play clapping audio when the credits roll to really make it feel like you’re in the theater with those people behind you.
Just play.
Remember when we were kids and would randomly start doing something fun? Like a Nerf gun fight? Or kicking a ball outside? Do that. We invested in a soccer ball, Frisbee, cones, and even Nerf guns so we can get our bodies moving in a fun way. We’re both pretty competitive, so doing a quick soccer game or Nerf gun war can put us both in a great mood. Us kids might have been on to something in elementary school…
“Look back” at this time like you’re 80
It is so easy to get mad, annoyed, and irritated at someone when there is so much stress and unknown surrounding the Covid-19 pandemic. It seems like the world is ending, so many things we were looking forward to have been cancelled, and of course, there is a highly dangerous virus. Sometimes when I am feeling most irritable, I’ll fast forward to myself at 80, and tell my future grandkids about how this period of time was. I’ll laugh when I joke about the way grandpa drove me crazy with the way he left crumbs on the table. I’ll chuckle over how silly the fights were in hindsight. And then I’ll remember that if I ever want to get to that point with someone I care about, then I better check myself and be able to laugh now about the stupid little fights.
This time won’t last forever.
Although sometimes my boyfriend might drive me crazy, I think during my first week back in “normal life” I’ll start missing being able to talk to him whenever I want. I’ll probably miss how our problems now were our biggest. And I’ll probably even miss him getting on my nerves…just a little bit.
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