Being Single on Valentine's Day
Being single on valentines day… or maybe I should really title this- “Being Single at Any Time Leading Up to Valentine’s Day or the Week After Becauseeeee That’s When the Marketing Really Hits.
I know that this time can be uncomfortable for people not in a relationship- sometimes mostly just because of the awkwardness that comes when someone says, “Soo… what are you doing for valentines day?…” and then you have to be like “HAHAHA Just hangin’ with myself!!” And act like you’re fine, even if you’re not fine.
Some people reading this might think, “What’s the big deal? It’s just a holiday that corporate America shoves down our throats to sell stuff”… Okay. Yeah, maybe.
But for someone who had been really, super, hyper- focused on a relationship, and wanting nothing more than to be in one, this holiday can serve as a shitty reminder that “Hey! Everyone else is doing this love thing, what are you doing??” It can make people feel less than, and like they’re doing something WRONG because they can’t seem to get this “basic” thing down that everyone else can.
Now obviously, I don’t think love is that easy. I think that our culture makes relationships and falling in love out to be way more simple than it actually is. And unfortunately, that’s what leads to really unhealthy and unhappy relationships that just LOOK kind of great on social media for one day a year, Valentine’s Day.
Love ain’t that easy! If I didn’t know what I know now, I would probably STILL be in toxic relationships, breaking up with people for minor reasons because I didn’t think they were “The One”, searching for that super cute story of falling in love and “knowing”.
There’s a lot more to it than we like to give love credit for. So if you’re single this holiday and beating yourself up for it, let’s stop that.
Here are some amazing things you can do with your time on Valentines day that can make it one of your favorite yet:
Get together with some friends, set up a Zoom night and watch 13 Going on 30 or The Princess Diaries, and enjoy some quality friend time! Spending time with the people you love on a day that’s all about love seems like the perfect way to spend it to me.
If you’re thinking like, “ELLIE ALL MY FRIENDS ARE IN RELATIONSHIPS, I AM THE ONLY ONE ALONE WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO??” Okay Boo, never fear, I got you.
Give yourself a manicure. Get your favorite face mask at Target. Buy the boujee-est candle and have it lit all night. Order your favorite food. Play your favorite music, get ready, put on your sexiest outfit or lingerie, and take some cute pics FOR YOU. Make this night an event for YOU and treat yourself. Get those flowers. Order them online to be delivered to your door if that feels more fun. Do things that you wouldn’t just do on a normal night; this can be a fun date with yourself- one you’ll now want to be having every month.
If you’ve got to be sad for a sec, do you Boo.
But don’t sit in that space for too long. Go ahead, grab your favorite pen and stationary, and write out a list of all the things you’re grateful for. All the people you love and who love you. The moments, experiences, and adventures you’ve had. It’s really hard to be sad and have a pity party when you’re able to reflect on just how much you DO have in your life that makes it incredible.
If you can’t get out of your head on how much you wish you were having a romantic evening with someone, use that energy to propel you into gear for this coming year! If you’re making a vow that this is the last Valentine’s Day you’re going to have alone, then what actions do you need to take to make sure that happens?
Do you need to join a book club to meet people? Hop on an app? Put yourself out there more? Give that guy who you always thought was cute but kind of nerdy a shot? How will this next year look differently than your past to end up with a different result?
At the end of the day, I want you to remember that although this day might not feel amazing, it’s just a day. It will pass. And you can MAKE it what you want it to be.
Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you’re really struggling, and know that I am sending you all my love! Talk soon!
XOXO,
