Feeling Like You're Not Enough

If you’ve ever felt like you weren’t enough, this post is for you.

So I posted on my Instagram trying to see topics people would want me to talk about, and multiple people said they struggled with feeling like “enough”. Some struggled with it and then it carried into their relationships without them really realizing it, some struggled with it and couldn’t enjoy dating because they were so self conscious, and some had it so bad that they felt uncomfortable in most situations they found themself.

So I want to get into some of the reasons we have battles with feeling “less-than” internally, and get into how we can change some of that around.

First- The feeling of not being enough means that we think someone else is better than. Because if we didn’t think there was “more” we could be, then we would, by definition, be enough.

We’ve seen the documentaries, and heard it a million times about how social media isn’t awesome for us if we’re consumed by it- but let me just say it again. Everyone is using a filter. Everyone is putting out their best stuff. People know the angles to use. The stories to tell and not to tell.

I coach people with self-worth, and yet sometimes if I am spending a bunch of time on social media I’ll still struggle with this! I’ll look at some of those fitness pages and be like my butt is just NOT big enough! My waist isn’t skinny ENOUGH. My clothes aren’t nice ENOUGH. Because I am looking at someone else’s like “OMG they have it all.”

So first, put a limit on your social media. I don’t look at it for at least the first and last hours of my day, and I have been limiting the amount of time I spend scrolling. ALSO- no shade in muting or unfollowing someone who’s feed makes you feel less than. Even if it’s mine! If their content is more often than not making you feel WORSE about yourself, you shouldn’t be consuming it.

Next- No person has the right to tell you, outright or through their actions, that you are not enough.

If someone tells you you’re not good enough, that’s a reflection on them, not you. If someone cheats on you with someone else and you start thinking you weren’t “good enough” for someone to want to stay- no. That’s a reflection on them, not you.

But you give someone the power to make you feel less than. If you recognize your worth, your strengths, all the qualities that you have to be proud for- then when someone says something, or does something to you that screams “YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH.” It’s more funny than anything else. It might sting for a second, but then it’s like “Oh, you think you’re going to tell ME that I am not X enough?? That’s cute boo. You think you’re going to ignore MY calls for weeks and then come back after the other girl dumped you? Sweetie, that’s so funny!!”

If you can step into your worth, then you will always feel like enough.

Stop with the shitty comparisons, and start trying to celebrate those people who are doing cool things around you, or who look great in those leggings, or who have great relationships.

Rewire your brain by actively catching yourself before you go into the comparison spiral.

Instead of “Oh she has it all, I’ll never have what she does, she’s so much more successful than me, prettier than me, funnier than me, that’s why she has a boyfriend and I don’t” try-

“That woman is doing incredible things, good for her! I love seeing how she is able to accomplish all of that, because it shows me that I can too. But I am so grateful for where I am at right now.” And then list at least ONE thing that you are grateful for.

I also encourage you to make a list of your strengths. I’ve talked about this a million times, but getting super clear with yourself on all of your strengths and all the things you have to be proud of will help you stop the cycle of feeling like you’re not enough.

And if nothing else in this video did it yet- let me try just one more thing.

Let me tell you: you. Are. enough.

You are exactly where you’re supposed to be, and you have so much to be proud of. Each person watching this. We’re all on our own paths, and we are all more than enough, just by being here in this universe.

I hope you have a great week, and I’ll talk to you next time, bye!

XOXO,