So here’s what happens when you date multiple people at once:

If you have an anxious attachment system, check out my other videos for more details on this, you can use this trick to your advantage. People with an anxious attachment style typically get attached to someone very early on and hyper-focus on them and them alone. You settle for behavior that your rational brain wouldn’t, and you let people treat you in a way that isn’t desirable, all because you are already attached.

If you date multiple people at once, your attachment system will have a harder time picking one person to get completely attached to early on. You’ll have the internal knowing that if this person starts acting out and treating you in a way that doesn’t match your standards, on to the next baby! The guy who you went out to tacos with last Thursday would NEVER! 

When you show up with this type of confidence to the date, this knowing that “Hey if this doesn’t work out, it ain’t nothing Boo because I’ve got a line of people waiting to date me”, YOU ARE YOUR BEST SELF. You’re not worried about conforming into what the person across the table wants you to be because you know this isn’t your one and only shot to get that happily ever after you’ve been waiting for.

And people notice this! People KNOW when you’re secure in who you are and are fine on your own, with that self assurance that as much as you would happily get into a thriving and healthy relationship, you’re having a good time exploring your options.

What happens when you start treating someone like your boyfriend who isn’t your boyfriend is you end up getting resentful if they’re treating you like you’re not their girlfriend….but that’s because you’re not.

And that’s not fair to ANYONE in this situation because in his defense, you’re not his girlfriend. 

So to remedy this, try not to act like you are. You’re most likely feeling most hurt by it because you feel the situation is unfair (You treating him like a boyfriend and him treating you like an option).

Trust me, if you’re dating multiple people at once, I highly doubt you’ll be as hurt if someone is ALSO dating other people or not ready to commit early on.

The other bonus of dating multiple people at once is that you get to get REALLY CLEAR on the type of person you want! It allows you to date more people who, even if they’re not the match for you, can be very telling about the things you DO want in a partner. Instead of wasting weeks (maybe even months) on that one guy who you just met and are exclusively dating (one-sidedly), you get to date him, and a few other guys- which allows you to be even better about knowing what type of person works well with you. Being efficient with our time too, look at that!

Now in practice, if you’ve never done this before, it’s going to be a bit of a process. You’re going to have to start out slow. You’re going to have to be kind with yourself and understand that at first, this might feel weird! But I guarantee you, it’ll get easier as you do it. I’ve worked with SO MANY CLIENTS who thought they could NEVER do this. Once they started, 100% of them came back and told me how amazing they felt about it, how it made dating more fun, and how they now felt better than ever about the idea of meeting someone truly special. 

So get out there Boo! Have your hot girl summer! And if you’re interested in working with me to get to that place in your love life even faster, feel free to hop onto my Private Coaching Clients waitlist.