I know it sounds wild, but say thank you to this part of yourself that is trying to keep you safe.

For example, if I don’t think I can let someone in emotionally because I was broken up with out of nowhere in the past, then I am going to say something along the lines of “Brain/ego, thank you for trying to keep me safe. I know that when I was broken up with before, it really hurt me, and I appreciate you trying to not let that happen again. But I am actively making a choice to put myself out there again.”

You saying this is telling your brain to CHILL THE &$%# OUT.

And once you tell your brain this once, it’s going to be a lot easier to check yourself when you see you’re going down the same path of emotionally shutting people out. You can say “Ah ah ahhh, remember what we talked about.”

Something else I want you to do is start reminding yourself of all the things you’ve overcome in your life. All the challenges you had to get over. The times you thought would BREAK YOU that ended up being building blocks of the strong person you are.

When you remind yourself of how you are more than capable of getting through hard things, the thought of something not working out with someone (one of the main reasons you can’t let them in emotionally) doesn’t phase you as much. When you’re so confident in yourself and your resilience, you’re less worried about the risk of letting someone in. Because deep down you know that everything is going to be okay, no matter what. And you start to truly believe that the risk of love is less scary than the risk of never loving.

Identifying to the best of your ability why you struggle letting people in, journaling about it, thanking your brain and letting it know we’re still going to do it anyways, all of these are ways you can begin the process of letting someone into your life and your heart.