The New and Not So Improved "Boys Will Be Boys"
"Oh, you know how men are..."
Is the grown up version of “Boys will be boys”- and honestly, both of those sayings are super frustrating for me. Men are who they have grown up to be (or haven’t grown up to be), and boys will be a representation of the expectations we put on them. For some reason I’ve never heard any of my guy friends saying “Oh, you know how women are” when discussing being treated terribly, and I’ve never heard “Girls will be girls” spouted by parents on the playground who are trying to make excuses for their child’s misbehavior.
I would love for every person making excuses for the male population to consider just calling it what it is,
"Oh you know how Steven is...an asshole."
Because quite frankly, you’re not giving the general population of men enough credit! I know plenty of men who are respectful, considerate, emotionally available, loving, and all around pretty awesome. When we try and make excuses for the ones that are playing to the “Boys will be boys” mentality, we allow ourselves to stay in situations that don’t serve us, and we allow them to continue with undesirable behavior.
So when a guy doesn’t call or text you back, it’s not a guy thing. It’s a THAT guy thing, and if you don’t like it, say something.
When a guy won’t commit, it’s not a guy thing. It’s a THAT guy thing, and if it bothers you and your conversations aren’t getting anywhere, walk away. You know how strong, independent people act.
When a guy just wants to hook up, it’s not a guy thing. It’s a THAT guy thing, and if you aren’t comfortable with it, go find a guy that respects your boundaries and was raised by someone who didn’t use the phrase “Boys will be boys”.
When a guy isn’t willing to be vulnerable with you, it’s not a guy thing. It’s a THAT guy thing, so challenge him to grow past any preconceived ideas of what a “man” looks like.
I talk a lot about teaching others how to treat you in my video You Teach Others How to Treat You, and I highly recommend checking that out if you want to get some strategies that’ll help change the way you interact with people, especially those people that need the lesson the most.
So ladies, gentlemen, let's do better. Boys will be the boys we raise them to be, and men are either worth your time or not, stop playin'.
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