You Ain't Single Because of the Pandemic

Alright so I’m all for telling nosy Aunt Carol that you’re single because of the pandemic, but girl that ain’t gonna work with me.

Now let me say, if you genuinely don’t want to date or be in a relationship right now: this post isn’t for you.

This post is for the people who say they want to date, talk about wanting to be in a relationship, spitefully like pics of people on IG in relationships, and are also saying things like “Yeah I just can’t date right now, we’re in a pandemic.”

BABY GIRL I SEE THROUGH IT.

Because lets be real honest right now:
If it wasn’t the pandemic, you would be saying it about something else. You would.

The reason you’re single is because you’re scared to get vulnerable and even try dating because you’re scared you’ll fail.

And I get it. Because this happens with most things in life. Whether it’s starting a business, going for that promotion, moving to a new city, or stepping out of your comfort zone in any way.  You talk yourself out of it before you even have the chance to try. Because to you, failing is worse than not even knowing if you would succeed if you tried.

So this is you, if you’re feeling a little bit called out, I want to talk about how we can shift.

I want you to tell yourself that you are more than capable of dating right now. The dating apps are filled with people looking for connection and not just hookups. You don’t have to jump into going on in person dates right now, I’m not saying that that’s necessary.  But I do think it’s important that you’re not letting this year be an excuse for why you’re not putting yourself out there. You can use that at the Thanksgiving table, but not with me.

There is always going to be something going on. The thing with the pandemic is that it’s an easier excuse because everyone is going through it and can relate. But for you, in 2021 you might say you can’t date because you just got a new job. Or you’re moving to a new city. Or you just got a pet fish. You can find a reason for anything, but the pandemic reason is just easy because no one is going to challenge it.

And again, if you genuinely don’t want to find love right now- then fine!! But if this is something you truly want and you’re just saying “Oh I’ll just start again in the fall of 2021”… let’ stop. 

You’re doing yourself a disservice. 

So let’s get into how you can start pushing your comfort zone a little bit, without having to utterly demolish it in one day.

The first thing I would recommend you do is download a dating app. ONE DATING APP. You don’t need to get overwhelmed with five, you’ll give up immediately. Start with one, and have some fun. Set up your profile, and see who’s out there! If you have beef with the dating apps, let’s get over that. This is a TOOL for you to be able to meet people you normally wouldn’t. Let’s stop trying to live our lives for the story of it…“We were sitting on the train and made eye contact and fell in love”, and start living our lives for the feeling we want when we’re with someone- no matter how you meet them.

Next, make a dating goal. As unsexy as that sounds. Challenge yourself to go on ONE DATE a month (virtual or otherwise) to start. You can do this, this is super doable. Just start practicing the art (and the science) of dating. Of talking with someone new. Of practicing being more conscious of how YOU feel on a date, rather than if this person likes you or not.

You can do this. You don’t have to treat this pandemic as the reason you can’t find that person you’ve been looking for, because I promise if you do it’ll always be something. 

XOXO,

16 thoughts on “You Ain’t Single Because of the Pandemic”

  1. Caitlyn

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    She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is entirely off
    topic but I had to tell someone!

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